O God,
Who has been my rock?
Who has been my anchor?
Who has been my guide?
Is it not You, O Lord?
My pride has at times
Seen no limits.
I have prided myself even in my own humility.
A disgrace, I say! Yet
You have not forsaken me,
Nor cast me aside.
What is this divine patience
With which you have with me dealt?
How is it that you continue to
Express your love toward me?
Why, and how, do I still breathe?
Why have You not said,
“Enough!" in the face of my own
Persistence and insolence, my
Victim mentality, my pervasive
Sense of entitlement,
As though I think I deserve better?
You have given,
And You have taken away,
All for my eternal benefit.
Though I have complained as though
I am robbed—of that which I never owned—
Your gifts have never ceased.
Your love has never abated.
I have received good from God.
Shall I not accept evil as well?
For He is God, and I am not.
When evil comes, let me see it only
As His benevolent hand of correction.
Not as just desserts for my actions,
But as His graceful, loving guidance.
How can a man repay God?
For he owes Him his very life.
The fruits of my efforts, I owe to You.
I am forever in Your debt, yet
You, O God, are no tyrant, for You demand
So little of me.
And You continue to guide my steps.
You have taken the time,
You have invested divine initiative.
Touching my soul and my intellect,
Reaching down, touching my heart
To form within me a better man—
Modeled after Your own Son,
My Savior.
His condescension, His humility,
The humiliation of His death on the cross,
I cannot comprehend.
And You, O God the Father,
Are no different in your character,
For You have contended with me,
A worm.
O God,
Who has been my rock?
Who has been my anchor?
Who has been my guide?
It is You, O Lord, my God.
Three Days Before [My Dad's Death]
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