I dunno… I just find myself at a point in my life where I have this overwhelming sense of awestruck wonder, and words just fail me. Maybe it's because I've read enough of the Bible, and I've lived long enough, that when I open it and read a paragraph or two, my heart and mind just want to shout, "YEAH, I KNOW, RIGHT?!!" And then comes this flood of ideas and experiences that so veraciously testify to the truthfulness of it, with such an absolute subjective conviction, that I just don't know what to say other than to simply repeat the words I have just read, with a big, fat, giant AMEN!
I mean… God's Word says it all, so how can you top that cake with icing? Some contemporary lyrics come to mind which describe what I am feeling (though they are somewhat "re-applied" in my case):
John Mayor sang, "I want to run through the halls of my high school; I want to scream at the top of my lungs… " He goes on: "I just found out there's no such thing as the real world; Just a lie you've got to rise above." Well, God has raised me above the lie, and now that I know the truth, it's impossible for me to keep it to myself!
When I was younger I noticed the change in emphasis of the communications of older people as they aged, and I thought to myself, "This man has become sentimental. What was important to him before is less important to him now, since there is a decreasing ability or opportunity for him to do anything about it." But those other things were still important to me, so I tended to ignore the sentimental ramblings of "old folks." I still believe my assessment was correct in some cases, but now I realize that I might have missed something, because my tune has changed over the years as well.
During my twenties and thirties, I had a constant background drive to make my mark on the world—to do something of real significance. I had something to prove about myself, and I was primarily motivated to carry it out. Now, however, I enjoy the luxury of relief from that burden. I really don't feel the need to prove myself to anyone. And here's the interesting part: it's not because I accomplished my goal. I'm not Steve Jobs; I'm not Bill Gates. For every success, I have an equal number of failures, and by now I don't really care. But why? Is it because I have given up the fight in defeat?
No. It is because I have given up the fight in victory. And this is why I want to run through the halls of my high school and scream at the top of my lungs—not out of frustration, but out of a desire to communicate to everyone the answer to the problem; the truth above the lie; the reality behind the facade; the order above the chaos; the beauty and magnificence of Christ; the victory over sin and death; the love of God our Father; the peace and satisfaction of knowing Him and being known by Him; the eternal reality of having been reconciled to God through Christ's sacrifice on the Cross at Calvary!
Friends: listen, I am screaming. THESE are the things of importance, NOT our personal accomplishments. I might wonder, how is it that it has taken so many years for me to truly realize that it's not about me? It's not about my ability to perform—even in the context of my efforts to do God's will! It's about God, people. It's about Jesus' performance. It's about what HE has accomplished.
It's about the love of God, directed toward His fallen creation.
I can't say enough about God. Words fail me.