It's Just a Joke

I guess it might be kinda evil of me to be entertained by the responses I sometimes get from those who don't understand that I am joking. I figured out when I was young that getting someone all up in a tizzy over something I think is trivial or worth little consideration is not noble behavior. Still, I love a good laugh, so in the interest of not enjoying it at the expense of another, you have been notified that nothing here is meant to be taken with anything more than a grain of salt...

Five Times as Cold

So, today we were talking about how there is no such thing as "twice as slow," or, "twice as cold." This idiom is a favorite pet peeve of mine, because it is so utterly meaningless, yet when someone says it, you somehow know exactly what they mean. They simply mean, "Dang! It's really cold today." Or, "Dude, you are reeeaallly moving slow, even compared to that other slow guy!"

The Joys of Exclusivity

Everyone likes exclusivity, right?
"Join this exclusive club,
Enjoy these exclusive priveledges… "
It's a great sales angle, because everyone wants more priveledges, right? Only just don't be racist about it.

Excuse me, but: No wonder our society is so conflicted! We all want something that we all know is wrong. It's something to think about...

How I Met my Friend, Garry

The stinging chill of the night air cut through my alpaca wind breaker like a Frenchman on a mo-ped in rush hour traffic as I reached for another fag. The distant, muted cacophony of the surf beyond the jetty, the pungent fragrance of the tailings of yesterday's catch, and the oddly diffuse brilliance of a full moon peering down through a meandering marine layer all conspired to set the mood—a doleful, introspective kind of mood.


What is it about indecisiveness that I hate so much?

It's not that it uses up time (though the older I get, the less patience I have). No, I think it's because of the complications it adds to life.  There are two basic types of indecision that drive me crazy, and they both center around stuff that just doesn't matter that much. The two scenarios can be exemplified as follows:

How to Do Your Part to Fight Global Warming

I've been reading a lot on Global Warming, so I'm pretty much of an expert on the subject now, especially having studied a lot of science and stuff in school.  For instance, I've taken classes in Natural Science, Social Science, Political Science - you name it; I've probably had a science class about it.  So when it comes to science, I think it's fair to say I pretty much run with the best, and if you care to read much of the literature out there, you'll find that most of my peers are pretty much in agreement with my conclusions.  So

Hard Times, Indeed!

Wow.  The economy is so bad!  Minimum wage hasn't gone up for over six months, now.  Your typical high-school kid has to work nearly all summer -full time, even - just to be able to buy one quad or dirt bike!  All three of my cars are over five years old now, and I'm gonna have to sell two, just to buy one new one!  I mean, it's like we're suddenly thrust back into the dark ages or something.  It's like it's 1973 or something!

Food Quality Linked to School Violence

The monumental moronity of our governmental leaders never fails to amaze me.  Our government, on every level, just has this uncanny knack for coming up with entirely stupid and useless ways of measuring and rewarding performance.  What is it about people given administrative power without having earned it through performance or personal risk, who have instead had it granted to them by popular vote or by appointment?&nb


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